Letter from a Birth Mother

I was sick for the Adoption Conference that we had last week, so I was unable to attend. Steve, my mother, and my mother in-law were all able to attend. They absolutely loved the conference and are all more eager for the blessing of adoption. While at the conference my mother got me a CD full of music inspired by adoption. It is a outstanding CD, but there was one song where the lyrics just touched my heart. I wanted to share them with you. The song is an actual edited letter written by a birth mother, Nicole, to Elizabeth Noyes Brown, the adoptive mother, to give to the child. What love and courage birth mothers have! I admire them and pray for them. They are special women who I hold near and dear to my heart. The title of the song is "Nicole's Letter".

It's hard to know what to say. I will
start by being honest. You are the
best thing that has ever happened to me.
From the moment I found out that you would
be arriving, you have changed my life.
For many months you were the only one who
mattered to me. You healed a lot of pain
I had inside.

This was so hard for me because I have
always dreamed of a family of my own and
especially of my own children, but now what
I wanted and what you deserved were two
different things. I knew I couldn't raise
you alone. It wouldn't be fair.

You were a precious gift and I wanted only
the best for you. I wanted you to have a
family with married parents and a sacred
home of love. I sill battle my own desire
to keep you, but I knew it would be selfish.

I felt very unsure of what to do, then one
evening I read about your parents and I
immediately knew they were to have you in their
family. The decision had been so difficult for
months, but after reading about them, I knew
that they were to be your true parents. I have
such dreams for you. You have a remarkable
future and I want only the best for you and
that is why I chose them.

When you were born, I cried the first time
I saw you because you are a miracle. I
have never been happier than I was during
the precious days I spent with you. Words
cannot express what you mean to me. You
are so special.

I met your parents that week. I knew again
that I had made the right decision. I saw
them hold you for the first time. They
were so happy to see you. They took you into
their arms as their own. It was a very
special moment.

I realized that this was my choice. Your
future was in my hands. My heart broke
as I revoked my rights as your mother. I
cried thousands of tears. It still breaks,
but it doesn't matter when your happiness is
at stake.

Your parents are wonderful people. I love
to read their letters and see your pictures.
I hope when you read this you will be old
enough to understand how wonderful they are.

I wanted to write something for your to read
someday. I hope this letter will help you
understand why I decided as I did. I love
you very much and I always will.

-Nicole

Never have I felt so much love! I cry every time I read this. Adoption, truly is about love! I am so thankful for the miracle of adoption! Thank you, birth mothers, for having the love, faith, and courage that you have! You are all heroes to me.