Thursday, December 20, 2012

Looking back...moving forward

Exactly a year ago from today Steve and I discovered that we were no longer pregnant.  Last November we traveled to Alaska for IVF.  We were told we were pregnant and we were so excited.  Then we went to the doctor Dec. 20th, 2011 for our first ultra sound.  We were eager to find out if we were pregnant with either one baby or twins.  During IVF they implanted two embryos.   Instead of having 2 or 1, we left with a broken heart. I can still so vividly remember those feelings I felt as I laid on the table and was told the horrific news. This was the lowest of the lows and I had no idea my world could be shattered like that.  Steve was just as devastated.  We went to our house and cried for days. This was a dark time in our lives that neither of us like to revisit. We muffled through Christmas and looked forward to a new year and for a new start.

At that point in our lives Steve and I never would have thought that in a year we would be holding a baby in our arms.  This morning we were sitting in bed and passing Katelyn back and forth while trying to coax a smile or two from her, while Steve and I reflected on last year events. I look back now and I am glad that IVF didn't work for us at that time.  If it had, we wouldn't have had our blessed Katelyn in our lives.  I wouldn't change anything.  The trials that Steve and I have had to add to our family make Katelyn even more special.  No baby has ever touched my life and made it sweeter than my little Ms. Katelyn.

I continue to learn that God knows best; and not only do we need to have faith in him, but also in his timing. 

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